Archives for May 2017

not just a piece of me but all of me

Mama and me time

Mama and me time

My husband is not good with babies. They can’t talk, walk, or wipe their own butt and sometimes their needs can be quite ridiculous. My first son had colic, and could only be soothed if you held him under his armpits and made a circular motion with your arms like you were rowing a boat. It was awful! We seriously contemplated only having one child because of the severity of the colic.
Our second son does not have colic and is a happy baby for the most part under one condition; he must be held ALL the time. Compared to rowing for hours, carrying a baby is a walk in the park. However, if my husband has a choice between carrying a baby or running around with a toddler, he will pick a toddle every single time. Maybe that first three months of colic with our first just really ruined the baby experience for him or babies are just not his forte.
Anyways, yesterday my husband took the baby for Mother’s day so I could be with my toddler. We went grocery shopping, made muffins, went to the arcade, and watched a movie. These are things I normally do on the weekend but it was special to my toddler this time because I did not have the baby. My toddler kept telling me it was “mamma and me time” and “just the two of us” and “I love you so much” It melted my heart to know he was having so much fun with me but at the same time I felt guilty. I felt guilty because I have been forcing him to share his time with me with his baby brother. While I’ve been busting my hump, ensuring that all of the baby’s needs were met I neglected to see that my toddler needed me. My toddler may not need me all of the time, but some of the time he needs more than just a piece of me, sometimes he needs all of me. It comforts me to know that he is so selfless that he can share me with his baby brother but I need to make more of an effort to give him all of me when he needs me.

Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day! I’m not one for holidays, especially those “Hallmark” holidays but Mother’s Day is an exception. If you read my post on adventures in scheming you will find out quickly that I am a bargain shopper and I find the holidays to be no longer about the holiday itself, but more about the materialistic garbage that you can buy for these holidays. I’m in utter disbelief when I see pictures posted on social media of rooms, yes, I said rooms full of presents on Christmas or an entire kitchen table full of junk for Easter. What happened to just a basket? I refuse to fall for the marketing schemes of these holidays and that is why I despise the “Hallmark” holidays even more. I’m not going to rush to the local drugstore the day of said holiday and buy you over priced flowers, candy, stuff animal or a card that was written by some unknown person with his/her meaningful words written on it for you take as your own. Nor do I expect my husband to do the same.What am I even suppose to do with that card. Keep it for the day? Week? Forever?
Nope. Not doing it.
Mother’s day is different. I found this out last year when I waited patiently for my husband to surprise me with something on Mother’s Day. By the afternoon, I realized that he didn’t get me anything and broke down in tears with disappointment. My husband didn’t understand why I was so upset. He knows how I feel about holidays, especially those superficial ones created for consumerism.
Like I said before, Mother’s Day is different.
Being a mother is life changing. Forget the years of schooling, the diplomas, the exams, the jobs, the raises, the car, the house, the vacations. It is the single, most important accomplishment of your life. Once you have a child, every emotion, every thought, everything you do is for your child. Motherhood is the selfless act of giving up a part of you.
This is why Mother’s Day is different. Here is to all the mothers out there that sacrificed a part of them to create something bigger. To the selfless mothers out there that continue to give a little bit of themselves everyday. This day is for you. Take a minute and celebrate your life accomplishments.
Yes, I want your burnt breakfast, your card made of imperfect hand marks, your picture framed in cheap popsicle sticks. I want that hug, that kiss, that smile. I want it all because it is my day to embrace it all.
Happy Mother’s Day.

Adventures in scheming

Last week I was scrolling through Pinterest when I saw a post about making money on Amazon. I love Amazon! I’m in the market for a new job so I clicked on the post to find out more. It was about FBA. In special education an FBA is a functional behavioral assessment but apparently it is also an acronym for fulfilled by Amazon. As I read further I learned that there is a job called retail arbitrage. Not knowing what arbitrage meant, I quickly Googled and found out it means you buy cheap stuff and resell it for more money and pocket the difference. What? This is a job? For those that don’t know me I am a deal connoisseur. I never buy anything full price and I always buy in bulk when I see a good deal. I currently have 768 diapers, 27 packs of wipes, 35 magic erasers, 14 boxes of baby food, 8 boxes of graham crackers, and 12 packs of fruit snacks. I know a good deal when I see one. Check it out

Finding a smoking deal is something I’m already good at so now I only have to sell these items at full cost and pocket the profit. Boom! I once had a student whose family who sold items on Ebay for a profit but he told me his house looked like an episode of hoarders. The best part of selling on Amazon is that you get to store your items at their warehouse. This sounds too good to be true and it probably is BUT I’m looking for change and this might be it. I need to give it a go. I signed up for You can purchase a professional account for $40/month or sign up for a free account with less access. I would love to go all in and get the professional package but I’m not sure if this is something I’m going to excel in and might end up being a money losing adventure. I bought a couple things that I think will be profitable and spent around $30 total. I sent them in this weekend and I’ll keep you posted if I make anything!

The unknown

I found out two weeks ago that the school I work for is closing and I will be laid off. I wasn’t shocked to hear this news. Our numbers have been low for a while and it was the unspoken word that lingered in the air for months.
I was out on maternity leave for first term so I was surprised when I came back to work to find two directors; my old director and a new director co-directing. This was my first inkling that something was wrong. Why do we need two directors? It became more interesting when a paper was casually passed around that we acknowledged that lay-offs may happen if we do not get more students enrolled. Then in December the first round of lay-offs began. The old administration, the leadership of the program was laid off. This was not good. I’ve seen this before in large companies; hire a hatchet lady to clean out the old and in with the new. It’s a scare tactic and it works. Once the foundation that the program was built on had been removed, people started to feel the instability and started finding new jobs and resigned.
Not me. like I said, I’ve seen this before and was willing to wait out the storm. Unfortunately the companies plan to start fresh didn’t work out as they planned and the school is closing. So here I am, last man standing near the end of the school year with no job in less than two months.
So what am I doing?
I don’t know.
The safest, most obvious thing for me to do is to continue teaching somewhere else. Monday-Friday, school vacations and the summers off. Great perks! But is teaching my passion? I don’t know. I would describe it as comfortable. I feel that I have always played it safe, nothing too strenuous with fixed hours and benefits. Am I satisfied with comfortable? I’m 35 years old and I’m debating on a career change. What career? I don’t know. I want to take a risk into the unknown. Become a writer, start a business, get into sales. I think most importantly I want to become my own boss. Have you ever had dreams that you were too scared to follow for fear of the unknown? Well, that’s where I’m at.